And how to stop contributing to biphobia

I didn’t know I was bi until I was 19. Until then, I thought whenever I liked a girl, it was just something called a “girl crush”. In 4th grade, a boy called me a lesbian for holding hands with a girl, and I didn’t know what the label meant, but it sounded like an insult, so I let go. And I tried to fit into a space where I didn’t belong for a while.

These days, I love being bi, but my sexuality is the part of my identity that simultaneously feels most invisible and most criticized. If you’re…

Because we need to break the addiction

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

When I first joined Facebook in 2005, I could only sign in to my account from my college dorm room computer. I generally enjoyed posting photos the day after a party and sharing my thoughts on my own “wall” but these activities were a relatively small part of my life. Back then, I only checked my account once or twice a day.

Over a decade later, I was mindlessly sliding my thumb over my smart phone apps and refreshing my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds several times an hour. …

And what I learned from the chicken sandwich incident

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

When I was sixteen, my high school lost power, and a dark science classroom used bunsen burners as flashlights. This signaled a suspected gas leak, so my entire student body was corralled outside and locked in the football stadium.

Lunch had been prepared, so rather than let food go to waste, our kitchen staff loaded warm chicken sandwiches onto carts and rolled them outside. …

An ode to queer longing and unrequited love

Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash

First, a disclaimer. This is not a debate about Taylor Swift’s sexuality. The songs I’m sharing here resonate with me because through my personal interpretation, they reflect queer longing, the pain of being closeted, and the joy of fully embracing myself, but I’m not attempting to speculate about or label the artist’s sexual identity.

Music, like poetry, develops deeper meanings as we extract our own experiences from it. When I hear a song about hiding a relationship, I instinctively assume the couple is queer. Even it was originally written about hiding a relationship from the media, it feels much more…

How I manage when the pain mirrors old trauma

Photo by Tobias Cornille on Unsplash

After my father died, I grew to understand grief through a series of analogies. First, there was the ball in the box analogy, which suggests grief is a button in a box with a bowling ball. The giant ball presses against it, activating a painful grief response. Over time, the ball shrinks to the size of a marble, still there, but causing pain less frequently and with less intensity. And then I heard the backpack analogy, where you first carry grief like an impossibly heavy backpack that grows lighter and smaller with time. …

Evidence that we’ve been training for this our whole lives

As a Millennial, I’ve basically been bracing for a world crisis since childhood. Not in a paranoid, build-a-bunker kind of way, but rather, in a when bad things inevitably happen, I know it’s time to pay attention and act collectively toward a responsible solution, kind of way.

I’m generalizing here, but in the midst of this pandemic while Baby Boomers are priding themselves on their independence, and Gen-Xers are following the rules and staying home and flexing their self-sufficiency, Millennials are delivering the most impactful approach. …

Reframing work space, technology, and commuting

Many of us are adjusting to the challenges and comforts of working from home full-time. As someone who has worked remotely for five years, I’ve noticed some counterproductive advice being circulated. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the new recommendations and guidelines, here are five work-from-home rules I invite you to break:

Re-define Your Work Space

I’ve seen several suggestions for setting up a proper home office. While I’m a big advocate for having a private, dedicated work space available, this is not an option for most people. And having a single designated home office can be complicated when that physical space is needed by…

Nicole Lee

Writing ritual: coffee, yoga, and an indie pop playlist. She/Her.

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